To me mysticism is the sense of complete unknown at the center of everything. How can a baby bird learn to fly? How do ants run colonies? What made a sun fit to burn? How does a cell become a human? How does stardust learn to walk? Why do I want what I want? How do these words tumble out? Baffling. Sometimes it can become your regular perception. It's all just molecules. What a show. We like to think we know but scratch deeper and it's an empty shell.
You don’t get it - IT GETS YOU. You’re playing a cool role in a movie but it’s not going the way you like it. So you start to push the envelope and see if you can change how the movie is playing out. You can’t. So, get you pissed off and start to inquire what the Truth is.
Then, through no cause or result of anything “you do” (because you don’t exist and there is no do-er) - enlightenment happens through you and there it is;
You’re not the movie character. You’re nobody. Nothing and everything. You’re not even the projectionist. For a time, you believe you’re the watcher witnessing the movie, but this too is seen through. What you are is the light; The light that makes the movie, the light in the movie, the light the movie is in - the light that always was, always is and always will be.
The light that is This Everything. Nobody gets anything. Nothing gets anybody. There is nothing to get and nobody to do the getting. The light shines unto itself, as always, forever…
Back when I was studying Asian forms of magick, my teacher would always repeat this one thing. He would say it every day, multiple times a day, over and over and over and over. And then again.
This is what he said: experiences come and go. Do not get attached. Just let it go, do not get attached, do not get attached, do not get attached. Do not get attached. This was a remarkably good advice.
The mind is all about experiences. Strange, unusual, special, mystical. Lights, angels, spirits, demons. What have you. All this mystical experience does, after all, reflect very positively on the mind. One must be a very, very special person to have such special experiences.
On the path to enlightenment, it does not help to be a very special person. It does not help to be an amazing, spiritual person who has all sorts of spiritual experiences. When experiences, insights, understandings, are used to build up one’s perception of oneself as experienced, insightful, spiritual, awakened - that is no path to enlightenment. That is a path of the mind making itself better, superior, important. Special.
If there is one thing any mind wants, it is to be special. It is a mind playing its games, same old, same old. Awareness does not get amazed at being itself. Awareness is not in awe of itself. Awareness simply is. Awareness shines on that which is in its reach, just like sunlight shines on that which is in it’s light.
A rock might feel all sorts of special when it gets illuminated by sunlight, but sunlight has no such feelings. Sunlight shines, with no discrimination, no preferences, no judgement, and certainly no attachment to what it shines on. On the path to enlightenment, be like sunshine: do not get attached to what you shine on. On the path to enlightenment, be like awareness: do not get attached to what you are aware of.
Experiences come and go. When they are gone, let them be gone. Do not get attached.
There is no need to overcome loneliness. The only way to “move forward” to enlightenment is to accept it. Feeling the pain, that no relationship can make you content. Feeling the pain that the net of relationships is not permanent, ever-changing phenomena. Every ego is trying to attach to some kind of relationship not to feel lonely. It is the natural desire of the mind. To grasp the experience (another ego) and make it mine.
But as we let the mind (ego) to feel its loneliness we might see something deeper. Relief may come. Enlightened beings did not transcend the feeling of lonesomeness. They “swallowed” the pain of ignorance. To feel alone is just a concept of the mind. The opposite of the relationship. But that which you are is always complete, with or without relationship. It is very hard to swallow for the ego, the pain is big.
Brahman did not create anything. The only thing that creates duality is the separate sense of self craving for attachments to not be alone. You came into this world alone from within the void.
You are alone in this world, in the void. You will leave this world, alone, within the void. Life has no separate meaning; it is the happening of the void.
Ain Soph Aur - Patrick Gaffiero
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